we came to this place many times before–

It was Bob’s favorite place,

a mere three hours from Arleta,

but now the distance is greater

in more ways than one.

Now we have come here again, he and I

and my Canadian friends who came to support me

and marvel at the wonder of the sea and surf,

a full moon and high tides,

but RF has been reduced to a box containing ashes

so that late at night on the 8th of February, 2012,

we cut open the sealed bag

and slowly I poured his ashes into the rushing waves;

The sea was reaching out, greedily,

snatching powdered ashes from my hands

as I contemplated how twenty-six years

came to an end  on the Pier at Pismo,

the boardwalk where we had strolled

together so many times in life

but now only one of us is moving on.

I had been tied to a box of ashes and felt

the weight of him lift high and then

higher. He has been freed.

It was an ending for both of us and a new

beginning for each of us as well.


Sandra Lee Smith

In Memory of Robert Peter Fend,

September 22, 2011

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