I thought the first winter would be the hardest,
First came your birthday in 2011,
A little over a month after you had passed away,
Then came the holidays—Thanksgiving and Christmas—
How could I not reflect
On the multitude of Christmases we spent together,
The weeks of preparation, hanging lights,
Putting up as many trees as the house would hold,
The cookie baking, and putting up my Snow village?
It was a subdued Christmas without you.
Ethan asked If he could put up the Snow Village;
He did it for you, in your memory;
I’ve come to realize
I am not very good at celebrating a holiday by myself.
Even when Jim was my husband, and an absentee one at that,
I had my children and friends
And there was always something to celebrate and share with others.
I am a leaf blowing in the wind,
Loosened from the branch that kept me on the tree,
I don’t know where this leaf will land.
IN MEMORY OF ROBERT PETER FEND
SANDRA LEE SMITH
ORIGINALLY POSTED October 26, 2012,
Updated July 27, 2018