I DIDN’T GO THERE

I sat near the phone until a quarter of three,

wondering with dread, just where he could be,

I called the hospitals and even the jail,

In case he’d been speeding and needed the bail;

The bars had all closed promptly at two,

I couldn’t imagine what else I could do;

I hesitated to call any of the guys

that he liked to drink with–I pictured the lies,

that they would tell me, they thought it a laugh

that my head in the sand was like a giraffe,

And so I worried and just before dawn,

heard the car in the driveway and knew all along

where he had been; I smelled her perfume;

He shrugged when he saw me and went to our room

and as he undressed, he said “You could find

where I had been – I know you aren’t blind”

“I know where she lives” I finally said

but I didn’t go there. I’d rather be dead.

Sandra Lee Smith

Originally composted in 2015; updated July 19, 2018

True story; events that took place in in 1984.